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Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation
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About the Author
Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D., specializes in early childhood education and developmental psychology. Her lectures reach more than 20,000 people annually, and her awards include a Parents' Choice Foundation commendation for three of her parenting audiotapes. She has appeared on CNN, PBS, and The Hour of Power with Dr. Robert Schuller, among other programs. She lives in Oviedo, Florida.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (December 24, 2001)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060007753
ISBN-13: 978-0060007751
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
214 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#9,860 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I found myself mad at my 5 year old all the time, and very short tempered around him. It felt like I was always saying 'no' or 'stop that'. It got to the point where I didn't even want to take him anywhere because I didn't want to have to correct him the whole time we were there. In short, I was not having fun being a mom. This book was recommended to me and I started reading it thinking, 'oh my gosh, I do that, is that wrong? Is that why he acts this way? Is that why I act that way?' The book showed me where I had made some poor parenting choices and how re-phrasing things or giving my son real choices he was in charge of could make a big difference. I started changing the way I disciplined him immediately and it has made an immense difference! I've even got my husband to read it because he can see the change in both my son and me. I'm not angry all the time, my son isn't in time-out all the time. We're not fighting about getting dressed and getting in the car, and all the other things that are daily life chores that were once difficult. My style of parenting wasn't working and something had to change. This book made that change happen and has made our house and happier place. Don't get me wrong, there are still hiccups- but it doesn't turn ugly anymore. I only wish that I had known about this book when my son was 3.5 instead of 5, a lot of things could have been avoided!
I read this a few years ago, when my children were small, and it made a huge difference. Becky Bailey knows what she is talking about, and it was enormously helpful. I even made myself a little summary with her main points on it so that I could refer to it often. Then, recently, I decided it was time to read it again, and again I was deeply impressed. This is a book that should be read more than once because it has so much substance in it. Lately I've been giving it to friends and family who are about to have a baby, because I can't think of any other book that would give them better or more practical advice. Don't make the mistake that it only applies to small children. I have found that the ideas she talks about are applicable to any relationship. There are no gimmicks, just a deep understanding of human nature.You may be familiar with the love and logic books. Those have some good ideas, but there's a narrow line between natural consequences and a consequence that really, to be honest, is more of a punishment invented by a frustrated parent. Becky Bailey does not cross that line. She stays on the side of helping you figure out how to best help your child in a loving and effective way. I have enormous respect for her, and would strongly recommend this book for you. When you apply what she says, you will become a better parent.
I heard great things about this book. As a teacher who is now a parent I thought the very beginning came across as condescending. I knew her advice, which was common sense. However, I was patient. I soon grew to discover that the author doesn't talk about "tools" but describes HOW to USE the parent "tools". It's not you average self help book making you think you'll be better if you only bought or said...Sometimes tools can be maximized with useage. Knowing how one tool can do 50 different things is worth reading.
I learned about Becky Bailey through my daughters Kindergarten class as her entire school practices 'conscious discipline' among other brain based techniques. As a regular volunteer, I was so impressed every time I observed the teacher handle conflict--(while much of it, has to do with a very talented teacher who is well trained and educated in early childhood development), I began to learn that her technique was part of the 'conscious discipline' technique (Becky Bailey's school based program). I observed over and over how children were being taught to use their words (literally giving their feelings/emotions recognition) while walking them thru healthy conflict resolution. For me, its ideal to see character development, self esteem and healthy coping skills being developed so naturally at school. But when I finally got curious enough and started looking at Becky Bailey's books for parents, I had no idea of the impact her books would have in my home. I will say that it is challenging and difficult to read the book as it can feel like a strong criticism of many of the techniques we automatically and lovingly do with our children. But honestly, she makes a lot of sense and for me, it resonated deep in my core. She covers such a wide array of topics from discipline to just general self esteem building. She gets at the root of these issues. For example, she covers why building self esteem takes more than mindless compliments and judging comments-- that's "good" "great" "pretty" and so on. When she writes that children want to be noticed, not judged--it finally clarified to me how and why descriptive observation was more beneficial than "oh, that is so great, honey". Once again difficult to acknowledge how many times I was actually judging my daughter under the guise of building her confidence. Very powerful.There is so much more in this book. This book will challenge you to be a better parent. The author while at times is painfully direct with why certain techniques (you probably are doing) are ineffective, she does share her own struggles with the standards--no one has unlimited patience or can be perfect, every time. But I have to say if you read this book with an open mind, there is great information that will most definitely improve your parenting strategies. I have seen it almost immediately in my home. Also, I can recommend her " I love you rituals" book, another book that can improve and give you small meaningful connections with your child. Overall, great author, great book. I am grateful for the exposure to her work and highly recommend it!
I love this book. It addressed the language that I used with my son right on the spot and it gave concrete examples of what I need to improve on. Changing my language with my son has made him a new person and brought back lots of joy in our relationship. It was the right book for our family to give the right words of love. my thanks to the writer for doing an awesome job helping parents. ​
Great parenting book. Was recommended by my daughters teacher and the book did not dissapoint. I was having trouble with my 4 year olds behavior and the book gave me great tips as well as thorough examples of situations. Would recommend to parents who have high spirited children whom are displaying rebellious behavior.
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